This simple trust-building exercise can help establish a supportive, collaborative environment in singing lessons.

In a perfect world, singing teachers instantly connect with every student who walks through their studio door.

But, as Stephen King acknowledges on the Singing Teachers Talk podcast, that doesn’t always happen.

Stephen – a man of many talents – has qualifications in voice pedagogy, integrative therapy, manual therapy and medical acupuncture.

He’s registered with the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy and the Body Psychotherapy Network and co-founded Vocal Health Education.

In a wide-ranging podcast interview, Stephen talks about psychotherapy, singing and the complex dynamic between teacher and student.

As part of that discussion, he reveals a simple grounding exercise that can help build trust with a student at the start of a lesson.

It may be particularly useful with a student you struggle to connect with. (Or, as Stephen puts it, a student who “really grinds your gears” and has you “looking at the clock every minute”.)

Trust-building exercise

“If this is appropriate and consensual, stand next to them so that the left side of your body is in contact with the right side of theirs – and you do a trust game,” Stephen says.

“You say: ‘Let’s support each other’s weight and we’ll see if we can take the middle feet away.’

“Now imagine what that might do as a grounding exercise for you and for them. Do we trust each other in this space? Can we connect to each other in this space?”

What’s really going on?

When you’re struggling to relate to a student, Stephen suggests asking yourself why.

“Do you grind my gears because of you or because of me in this space?” he says.

“Ultimately, you’re the teacher who’s living your life by that clock.

“And if somebody being a certain way evokes something in you, then you might not be able to really arrive for them.

“They might be asking you – not consciously – but asking you to really hear them because they believe you’re the only person who might.

“And you’re sitting there watching the clock, which, by the way, is probably what happens to them everywhere else in their life, too.”

Listen

Take a deeper dive into the world of singing and psychoanalysis by listening to the full interview here.