Learn how PACE, a trauma-informed strategy that psychologists use, could help you reach out to struggling students.

Picture this: You’re mid-way through a singing lesson when your student’s behaviour suddenly shifts. 

Everything is going swimmingly, and then, out of the blue, the singer stops engaging with you and avoids eye contact.

You know that something isn’t right but can’t put your finger on what’s gone wrong.

What do you do next?

Option A: Ask your student about the sudden change.

Option B: Plough on and hope the awkward moment quickly passes. After all, you’re not a therapist and don’t want to overstep the mark.

Many singing teachers might choose Option B out of fear that asking prying questions could open the floodgates and cause more distress.

However, psychologist Dr Lydia Stone encourages teachers to go for Option A and address the issue “with gentleness and empathy” using the PACE principles.

“People often worry about getting it wrong,” Dr Stone says. “But just show compassion. It doesn’t need to be anything more sophisticated than that.”

What is PACE?

PACE is a model that psychologists often use when working with children who have experienced trauma, although you can use it with people of any age.

It stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. 

Putting PACE into practice

Going back to the scenario at the start of the article, Dr Stone suggests approaching the situation by acknowledging it gently. (That’s the Playfulness and Acceptance elements of PACE covered.)

“There’s no point trying to fudge over it. Ask: ‘Do you need a break?’ Just name it, accept it. It’s okay to briefly name it and make a little bit of a joke about it.

“Then you get to the third step: Curiosity. Say: ‘I wonder what could have happened? Take a guess at what you think has triggered them. For example: ‘I noticed there was a loud noise; I think the neighbour was doing some drilling. Did that put you on edge?’.”

The final step in the PACE process is to show empathy. “Say: ‘Gosh, it would put me on edge too if I wasn’t ready for that’.”

What if I make a fool of myself?

“Trust in your feelings,” Dr Stone says. “If you suddenly feel something has changed in the room, then it probably has – especially if it is a bit unexpected and you feel awkward about the interaction.

“There is a difference between a singer just having a bad day and someone who might have a deeper issue.

“You can’t fundamentally know the difference unless you know that person well. But if you ask and you’re mistaken, the student will tell you. But they’ll be grateful that you’re taking an interest.”

Signs to look out for

If someone feels triggered, they may demonstrate behaviour such as:

• Agitation or jumpiness.
• Avoidance of eye contact.
• A change in facial expression.
• Yawning and floppiness (which might show that they’re going into a collapse/freeze response).

You may never figure it out

It’s up to the student to decide what they want to reveal to you. Don’t take it personally if there’s no revelatory moment.

“If you feel communication isn’t going well with someone, but they’re still coming back to you, there may be something deeper going on,” Dr Stone says.

“But it’s not our role as singing teachers to label that or do anything about it. All you can do is let them know that the studio is a safe space where they can explain how they’re feeling.”

Learn more 

Listen our the full interview with Dr Stone on the Singing Teachers Talk podcast to discover:

• Easy ways to create a safe environment in the studio for singers.
• What to do if you feel a student is at risk of harm.